The Mum Network

Before you have babies……Say Goodbye To Your Boobs

In an open letter to her friends, new mum Hayley (who you will meet in a video post shortly) wrote an impassioned letter to her friends begging them to appreciate what they have, before it’s too late. She writes……

To my gorgeous friends,

I just want to tell you the truth… So that like me you don’t regret not appreciating what you have until it’s gone…I miss my boobs. I miss my hard and high breasts. I miss looking down and seeing two bumps. I miss putting sexy bras on. I miss them a lot!

So this having a baby thing is pretty hard on your body… I’m ok with the permanent stretch marks, the new and not necessarily improved Cha Cha, the extra 10kg that will more than likely hang around forever (I literally mean hang)… But I can’t handle to loss of my boobs. I’m currently on the couch Oyster Bay in hand mourning the loss of my precious boobs!

I write this email because before you have kids I want you to love your boobs. Love them like you loved food in the 10th grade. Love them like you love vino. Love them like you have never loved before because once you have a baby they are pancake type squigy flaps of skin that hang closer to your elbows then they do to your neck. Depressing but true!

Pre my first baby… I would have called the girls something sexy like “Maxi” and “Mandy” Real stripper type names.

After the baby was born, my nice 12c’s blew up to 18dd’s. They were hard as rocks and full of milk. So I thought ok… This ain’t so bad. I’ll just look like Dolly Parton for a bit. I was wrong. Dolly one day… Nanna the next! During the first 2 months of feeding I would name the girls something larger then life like “Marilyn ” and “Madonna”.

Now that my milk has settled and Molly has chomped away on them for 4 months… My boobs have taken on a matronly personality. They are now practical and sensible… No longer there for hubby’s entertainment. They are wrinkly and stretched. The girls will forever been known at “Maureen” and “Margaret”. So depressing! So old!

I just want you all to love your boobs. Show them to as many men as you can… Actually show them to as many people as you can. Seriously show ’em while you got them. If I knew what was coming up for my boobs… I would have streaked as often as possible. I would have worn a bikini. I would have had sex on top- all the time, everytime!

Now put your hand on your boobies and repeat after me… “I (insert your name) promise to love my high and hard boobs whilst I’ve got them. I will take full advantage of them and promise to get them into a low cut top at any given opportunity… Jiggle jiggle!

RIP Hayley’s Boobs

At their best on her wedding day

Will be sorely missed by their owner and her loving husband

Now destine for push up bras forever

Flop flop

Xxx H

Anyone else mourn the loss of their boobs?

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