I can always tell if people think I look older than my age. Let me give you an example:
Me: “I’m 34”
Other person: “Really, are you? I thought you, well I thought you would be older because, well, because you uh……..well you uh…….have so many children”
Gees, thanks a lot, the silence and lame excuse says it all, why don’t you just tell me I look old enough to have grandchildren and be done with it. This happens to me at least once a week. “Clearly I am not ageing well” I think to myself. Yes, I know, more water, more sleep, less stress, lose weight and all that BUT, do people have to be so bloody obvious that you look like an old hag?
This is not the only time I get this type of treatment. I was walking through Sydney airport with my 58 year old uncle and two of my kids last week when a customs officer approached us and said “would Mum and Dad like to take a shortcut through the family lane?” – erm NO, my internal monologue went something like this “the person you are referring to as Dad is actually old enough to be MY Dad and the kids Grandfather and he’s my uncle and OMG, that would just sound dodgy as who has a ‘real’ uncle in that situation, usually hookers refer to an old guy as the uncle and I AM NOT A HOOKER” – I ignored the customs officer whilst my Uncle cackled to himself at how young he much look. Erk.
Anyway, why does looking old actually matter so much? Every time I see a picture of Dame Helen Mirren in the trash mags, I swoon, she is the most graceful, sexy and beautifully aged woman I’ve ever seen.
My drama’s don’t stop there. At dinner on Friday night with girlfriends, one of my gorgeous friends suggested that I should get a stylist. (Tries….to….pull….knife….out….of…..back). Erk, what’s wrong with me, I was wearing a poncho, as you do on a wet Friday night but I was hiding all the parts of the bod that I detest. Anyway, with my face in tatters, I really am starting to get a complex or am I hanging with people who are WAY too young and think that I actually have time to give a shit about what I look like when I leave the house. I would like to invite everyone else who’s trying to get their face on at the same time as getting lunches and three kids out the door to school and kindy in the mornings to look remotely human, unstressed and young.
WIth all this ‘you look like an old hag’ stuff on my mind as well as a few friends turning up to events with remarkably wrinkle free faces and incredibly perky boobs, it got me thinking, is Botox plastic surgery? It’s not plastic and it’s not really surgery (a needle is a surgical procedure though isn’t it?).
I was in a meeting recently and was enviously looking at the unwrinkled face of another female in her 30’s in the room. I was literally studying her forehead when it hit me, she’d had botox and fillers and a whole lot of weird stuff injected into her. I wanted to scream from my side of the table “YOU’VE HAD BOTOX” but then I realised it was futile. Most women my age are now having botox (plus, she looked fabulous, there was no point in outing her).
I’m can’t figure out how I feel about plastic surgery and if botox is considered in that same category. Is botox now as common as eyebrow waxing? It appears so. I’m not against it and yet I’m completely scared to do anything to my face incase it permanently changes (is this a throw back from Mum saying ‘don’t pull faces or the wind will change and then you will look like that for the rest of your life’). Botox isn’t like a hair do where the hairdresser puts too much toner on your foils and you end up grey (which happened to me on the weekend and within 2 hours I was blond again).
So why won’t I give it a shot, well firstly, it’s the money. Botox isn’t cheap and creating a new $300-$400 per hit habit which someone like me would need up to 4 times a year seemed very selfish and even though it’s offered on those Groupon type sites, I’m too wary that it’ll be a dodgy job. My second excuse is that it would all be wasted if I ever decided to have another baby because you’re not allowed to inject poison into your face whilst pregnant (see the difference in Nicole Kidman when she avoided injections whilst pregnant – no botox pic on the right)
And the last reason is because I’m convinced that everyone looks better with a tan (a fake one preferably) and until I feel that is no longer working for me, that will be my way to look a little fresh (clearly not working as yet is it!). If I do ever decide to get it done though, I am going to be honest about it, I’ll film the entire experience and I’ll write about it so that all my other non-botoxed girlfriends who are as scared as me can understand the experience and see if it makes you feel better about yourself. Like I said, I’m not anti-surgery or cosmetic procedure, I’m just too scared to do it myself!
WHilst my girlfriends all look fab with their toned bods and wrinkle free faces, The Housewives of Beverley Hills (below) are a different story all together. Apart from being obsessed with the TV show, I recall the first time I saw these women and the surgery they’d had, I couldn’t get them off my mind, it was overkill in more ways than one.
If you ever have a spare 5 minutes, type “Celebrity Before and After plastic surgery” into Google, go into images and look what comes up or click here – FASCINATING! It’s the story of every celeb who’s ever had a face transformation. It also makes you feel better about yourself because you realise how many of those beautiful people may not have been so beautiful if it hadn’t been for a little thing called botox and plastic surgery.