Mr 3: “Mum, I have a job”
Me: “Great, what’s your job?
Mr 3: “I am the fruit monitor at kindy”
Me: “Oh wow, what do you have to do in your job?
Mr 3: “Walk around and make sure all the kids eat their fruit”
I was WELL impressed because he is number 4 child and eats fruit like our other kids eat lollies. I was more impressed because his older sister has only ever eaten one piece of fruit since she swore off all fruit at 2 years old. Ok stop tutt tutting all you organic fruit nutters, I make her fresh juices all the time and she has no idea there’s fruit (or veges) in it – happy now? Anyway, any fruit passing the lips of my kids is seen as an epic triumph and to have a “Fruit Monitor” in the family, well, I’m just beside myself.
I have fairly low expectations these days. It means you’re always happy when good news comes your way. For example, for the past 4 years all my kids have received the student of the week or social skills awards IN THE LAST WEEK OF THE LAST TERM OF SCHOOL. Sure, these are the awards that all kids get at some stage of the year but these poor kids hang out for it every week and nada, nothing.
Naturally I have justified their lack of award winning to myself. I tell myself that it’s not because they’re badly behaved, they just fly below the radar and don’t suck up enough to the teachers in Term 1 and they’re not naughty enough in term 3 to deserve some type of encouragement to keep behaving. So when two of three kids got awards in the first few weeks of this term, I seriously nearly cried. Celebrations all round – yep, LOOM BANDS for all. HOORAY! The teachers LIKE you, they really, really LIKE YOU!
Anyway, all this talk about jobs, accolades and awards got me thinking about what professions our kids may end up in if they had to base it on their interests, lack of interest and skill set right now. Here’s where I think my 5 kids will end up if I go by who they are RIGHT NOW.
THE 9 YEAR OLD BOY
Profession I would want him to be: Teacher /School Principal:
This kid follows the rules to the letter of the law. Not only does he follow them but he issues them as well. You can trust him with anything and he won’t blab. Will never dob on friends and is as loyal and discrete as they come. Great with being responsible for other children in his care. Loves arts and crafty type stuff. Very neat, tidy and organised. He issues instructions to everyone in his path as if he is some type of authority on how to clean a room. Added bonus, he can’t spell.
But he’ll probably become: A Police Officer
THE 8 YEAR OLD BOY
Profession I would want him to be: A builder
An incredible maths brain and complains that homework is unfair because “I’ve already had to hold a pencil all day”. This young lad is active man and much happier kicking a footy than sitting in front of the TV or being at school. Great with heights, can often be found up a tree. The only early riser in the family up at about 5’ish and the first in the garage to help Dad with “man jobs”. A dedicated Lego enthusiast and constantly creating new designs he got ‘out of my head’. Obsessed with his motorbike and riding fast. Great with banging surfaces as he’s just taken up the drums. Can’t spell.
But he’ll probably become: A Crusty Demon
THE 6 YEAR OLD GIRL
Profession I would want her to be: A high school drama teacher
This child can turn on tears like I have seen no other child be able to do. “Please clean your room” can be responded to with an Oscar Winning performance complete with real tears and mock fainting. A sound grasp of the English language and after years of speech therapy, a good understanding of speech and linguistics, she’s well on her way to being an English major. Can read and can spell, never needs convincing to do homework or schoolwork. Never out of a Princess dress, we never need to wash clothes for her as it’s tiara’s and dress ups all the way. Always creating a play or concert for family or her toys, there’s a creative imagination there waiting to teach whomever is happy to play her next victim.
But she’ll probably become: A Oscar Winning Actress
THE 3 YEAR OLD BOY
Profession I would want him to be: A Lawyer
Whilst he’s only 3, Mr 3 can turn ANY argument back in his favour. It may be through tears or screaming the loudest but he always wins. A complete sense of entitlement that tidying, cleaning or following instructions is simply beneath him. He has ‘people’ whom he can dish out orders to. Life is ALL about him and how important he is in the family dynamic. A negotiator who does deals ALL the time “Go to bed” is responded with “I’ll only go to bed if YOU give me a lolly.” He manages to deal in fact when dobbing on others and completely twist a story to make it someone else’s doing when he’s at fault. A temper like no other and yet a sense of compassion for people he believes are lucky enough to enter his orbit.
But he’ll probably become: A hostage negotiator
THE 1 YEAR OLD BOY
Profession I would want him to be: An Olympian
He’s only 1 and thus far has been a fairly easy child. He doesn’t talk as much as his siblings but his ability to hit and catch a ball are astounding. Judging only by his ability to throw Weet-Bix, pasta and mashed vegetables across a room whilst sitting still in a high chair, there’s a fairly good chance he’ll be an athlete specializing in Shot Put, Discus or Javelin.
But he’ll probably become: A spear fisherman
BASED ON WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE LIKE TODAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR PROFESSION WOULD BE?