The Mum Network

What’s in a name….human names, pet names, this post has the lot!

My dog Lucky - who is on a long 'temporary' 2 year holiday at my parents house.

My dog Lucky – who is on a long ‘temporary’ 2 year holiday at my parents house.

One of my best friends whom I have known my entire life posted a pic of her new puppy to Instagram today. She gave it the same name as my daughter. I was momentarily mortified because I had a random flashback that I had told her that one of her kids names was a dog name at birth. Was this payback? Gawd I hope not.

I gathered my thoughts. People don’t name their pets a name they dislike. I for example will not be calling any future pets Vladimir, Julia or Cricket any time soon. She must like the name and that was ok. Co-indidentally we both had baby boys within a week of one another and we both named them the same name, it’s clearly a ‘thing’ with us (take note all you name hogs who think you have ‘dibs’ on a name, you can share. No one owns a name).

So what’s in a name?

Me with number 5. We were clutching a straws by the time he came along.

Me with number 5. We were clutching a straws by the time he came along.

I’ve always loved that initial reaction when you have a baby and you can tell almost IMMEDIATELY if friends and family love or hate the name you have chosen. If they hate it, it’s not mentioned on the phone or in facebook comments. Instead you get comments like “he’s beautiful” and “what was his birth weight”  and there is NO MENTION OF THE NAME WHATSOEVER. It’s hatred by omission but you just KNOW they’re going to get off the phone and vomit all over themselves as if you’d just said you baby’s name was Schapelle or Mercedes (which are THE BEST bogan names in all of Australia).

However, if they love it, OMG it’s over the top madness about LURVING the name. Everyone loved my first child’s name and I will never forget one of my fabbo BFF’s telling me that my second son’s name was a dog’s name. Only besties can say that and get away with it. It took the shine off for all of 5 seconds before people started comparing his looks to Uncle Fester and Kermit the Frog (but more on ugly babies in another post), poor kid did look a tad odd for a few years, fortunately he’s now the coolest and most handsome in the family (P.H.E.W!)

Uncle Fester and I. I shaved my head to make him feel better about his weird looks.

Uncle Fester and I. I shaved my head to make him feel better about his weird looks.

The highest compliment that can be paid is a teacher choosing your child’s name for their newborn. Imagine being a teacher and having to choose a name!

Ben?    Nope little turd back in 2006 that almost sent me to the loony bin.
Sally? No, vomited all over me in class one day.
Grace? No, had no manners or grace at all.
Jake?   No way, all boys whose names start with J are bound for jail.
Mary?  Hell no, her mother was a pain in the arse.

You get the gist. It would be horrible to have to name a child after years of teaching. It’s no wonder kids are now popping out with names like Apple, Heavenly and Maddox (did I mention my fascination with Angelina and her growing brood meant I gave my first child the middle name of Maddox, he doesn’t get it and upon reflection now, neither do I.)

Having been through the process of naming five kids, the Big Guy is not the most inspired person to brainstorm with. Most women I know had to do the thinking and were just given a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from their partner. In my case, all I ever got was a very firm NO FRIGGING WAY AM I CALLING MY KID THAT NAME YOU INNER CITY TRY HARD (I tried really hard for Bo and Zane but no luck). Okaaayyyyy then. So as soon we got a firm ‘yes’ on for each child, that became their name. No discussion, no negotiating, I locked it in at “YEAH, that sounds ok”.

Time after time I threw lists of names at him trying to re-work names he had previously said ‘no’ to in order to get it back on my suggestions list. I managed to get two names back onto the yes list and subsequently named number 3 and number 5 children with names he said “no way” to for number 1 and 2. Betcha can’t remember that hey Big Guy!

Each of our children arrived into the world with a name. I think it’s a bit mean not to give a child a name straight away, it’s not like the baby arriving is a surprise. You’re actually preggers for 10 months and hopefully aware of it for 6 months. If that’s not enough time then I don’t know what is. Most babies look a little like mashed veges in that first few days and perhaps others can see more than me but all my kids would all have suited Matthew, Mark, Luke or John had the Big Guy not been keen on a biblical theme.

So my parting gift in this post is the Top 20 Dog and Cat names in Australia. I can see quite a few of my family members in there – perhaps we’re animal people after all!   Take note that;

1. The dog names have a positively friendly, human feel to them.
2. The cat names are all stripper names. Enjoy!

Top 20 Dog names in Australia

  1. Jessie/Jesse/Jessy
  2. Max
  3. Jack
  4. Sasha
  5. Chloe
  6. Bonnie
  7. Toby
  8. Molly
  9. Ben
  10. Jake
  11. Beau/Bo
  12. Sally
  13. Rusty
  14. Rocky
  15. Sheeba
  16. Missy
  17. Jess
  18. Lady
  19. Lucy
  20. Sandy

Top 20 Cat names in Australia

  1. Tiger
  2. Smokey/Smokie
  3. Puss
  4. Misty
  5. Fluffy
  6. Ginger
  7. Sooty
  8. Max
  9. Kitty
  10. Sam
  11. Oscar
  12. Missy
  13. Sox/Socks
  14. Chloe
  15. Tigger
  16. Milo
  17. Lucky
  18. Blackie/Blacky
  19. Gizmo/Gismo
  20. Simba

For the full Top 100 list of Dog and Cat names in Australia CLICK HERE

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