The Mum Network

A household item that serves no purpose and yet I am addicted to buying them


The new shaggy dog cushions that I have wanted since....forever.

The new shaggy dog cushions that I have wanted since….forever.

Today I shall use the BLOG as a confessional.
Dearest Big Guy, Forgive me, I just bought more cushions and I’m sorry, I really am. I can’t help myself. It’s an addiction and I know I need to be cured. 

 

A bit of background.

 

Miss 6 asked me last week: “Mummy, can you please come in to school and be a parent helper because if you don’t I might get middle child syndrome?”

 

WTF?

 

Given the Korean cleaners were coming today and I couldn’t stand the thought of having yet another tirade of unintentional abuse thrown my way, it was a good excuse to dump toddler with Miss Alison (my friend who also uses the same cleaners but according to them has a MUCH cleaner house than me) and play Mother of the Year at school for an hour. Tick. Job done, Miss 6 told me I was her favourite Mum, not sure who her other Mum is but I’ll take all the compliments I can get and try to track the other mum down at a later date.

Two more hours to waste…..hmmm…..what to do?  I picked up the 1 year old from Miss Alison (he did a good job of wrecking her house as instructed) and I went to the shops. BIG MISTAKE. BIG, BIG, BIG MISTAKE.

 

Once at the shops, I wasted some time eating sushi,  people watching and sending evil glares at the unruly toddlers scaring the shit out of the puppies in the pet shop window. There was only one thing left to do. Spend money. Unintentionally of course.

 

The bloody SALE signs get me Every. Single. Time.

 

Today I made the mistake of going into Target. There was a 75% off homewares sale.

I must confess to an unhealthy obsession with cushions. They are all over my house serving absolutely no purpose whatsoever but I love them. Buying new cushions for a bed or sofa is like a mini renovation, spring clean and new look without any of the hassle or expense of doing something major. I blame my obsession entirely on my mother who has the same affliction.

 

The sale drew me in and I lost all control over my normal senses. Whilst I didn’t need the shaggy dog looking cushions, here’s how I justified them in my head:

 

  1. “Far out, I saw this exact cushion at a trade show in New York and it was $240, this is a BARGAIN. I have wanted these cushions since I was 5 years old.” (perhaps that’s a SLIGHT exaggeration)
  2. “The zipper broke on one of the sofa cushions last week. My symmetrical patterns will be screwed if I don’t replace it (given I can’t sew or fix zippers).”
  3. “I washed the living room cushion covers last week and did think they were looking a bit tired.”
  4. “It’s been 4 years since the cushions on the sofa have been replaced, they must have more germs in them than rubbish tip.”
  5. “Replacing cushions is cheaper than replacing the sofa, we could do with a fresh new look for Autumn.”
  6. “I haven’t spent money for ages. No, forever. In fact, I haven’t spent a cent for as long as I can remember. Poor me, I need to spend some money.”
  7. “I could be one of those high maintenance chicks who needs to go to the beautician every week for various beauty regimes but no, not me, I’m only at the beautician once every few weeks. God I’m good.”
  8. “Damn it, I use Nivea on my face, I’m totes saving thousands on fancy face creams.”
  9. “I could be buying clothes, that would be self indulgent. Cushions are for everyone in the family. This is a family purchase!”

 

I am not kidding, this ALL went through my mind in a matter of 20 seconds prior to picking up the cushions that I didn’t need and putting them in the already full trolley  packed with  winter pyjama’s and birthday gifts for the pressie cupboard.

 

As long as we’ve been together The Big Guy has never understood my obsession with cushions nor my overwhelming need to dress up the sofas, beds and any fabric like material with cushions. He thinks they serve no purpose and they just get in the way of where your bum is meant to be. Furthermore, he is constantly bewildered as to why he’s not allowed to put his head anywhere near them or why we need to put them on and take them off the bed for no reason at all.

 

He says they’re pointless pieces of crap.

 

Deep down, I know he’s right but I can’t help myself.

What do you think, see below, is the addiction out of control?!?!

The new shaggy dog cushions that I have wanted since....forever.

The new shaggy dog cushions that I have wanted since….forever.

So many cushions there is no where to sit here.

So many cushions there is no where to sit here.

These cushions are more pointless as they're the same colour as the sofa

These cushions are more pointless as they’re the same colour as the sofa

Two cushions. One chair. Overboard?

Two cushions. One chair. Overboard?

THis is a king sized bed. There is no where to put anything - its cushion heaven

THis is a king sized bed. There is no where to put anything – its cushion heaven

Pirate cushions on the kids beds

Pirate cushions on the kids beds

Screen shot 2014-03-25 at 3.32.49 PM

 

Anyone else have a pointless addiction for a certain household item that serves no purpose at all? Small souvenir spoons perhaps?!?!?

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