The Mum Network

Some advice for my friend who is having a boy…..


A friend of mine just told me she found out she’s pregnant with a boy. She will now have a girl and a boy. That’s very neat and tidy and clever of her. When you have one of each you have an equal balance of testosterone and estrogen to manage. What a happy place that must be. Given I have 4 boys to 1 girl, we don’t manage the balance at all. It’s a boy household and the 2 girls just have to deal with it.

 

In my experience, boy mums are vastly different to girl mums. I hate to stereotype but I’m going to. The girl mum’s I know always look carefully made up, coiffed and presentable whereas the boy mums tend to chuck on the cleanest casual gear they can find knowing the good clothes will be ruined trying to break up the next fight.

 

Boy mums don’t wear high heels. Girl mum’s wear them to bed.

 

Girl mums talk of bows in hair, craft and ballet and carefully planned playdates that are planned by the girls weeks in advance and involve craft activities or cupcake making.

 

Boy mums catch up at weekend sport and before they know it, the boys have arranged a sleepover without consulting parents and secretly packed their gear, swap cards naturally forgetting their toothbrush and undies.

 

Girl mums worry about friendships and their daughter’s pain becomes their own. Boy mums worry about contact sports and they don’t take on their boy’s pain because boys won’t tell you ANYTHING unless they’re bleeding.

 

That’s the mum’s covered but what about the kids? This is my experience only as I know there are a number of girls who fit into the categories below as well;

 

Boys:

 

–       A boy’s mother is his world but it’s his father who will teach him how to become a good man. Make sure his father knows this and is mentor and role model all the way. They will learn everything they know about being a good man from their father or male role model in their life.

–       As babies, boy nappies are much easier to change. Nuff said.

–       Boys are more clingy as babies, they develop uber Mummy love and if you’re not careful this can prove problematic when they get to school. A bit of tough love doesn’t go astray as Mummy’s boys are HARD WORK (I have had a couple so can speak from experience).

–       Boys won’t sit still and play. They will destroy every inch of your home until you spend every waking minute dedicated to THEM.

–       Boys will be competitive arseholes if their fathers are competitive arseholes. Just remember that.

– Don’t let them win all the time. Boys need to know what it’s like to lose and have to try. Make sure they learn that winning isn’t everything until they’re old enough to work out that just trying isn’t exactly enough.

–       Boys hit, punch and bite each other. It’s just what they do. It doesn’t mean they will be future mass murderers, they’re just protecting their territory.

–       Boys climb. Everywhere.

–       Boys like to bang stuff. Anywhere, Anytime.

–       Even as little people, they typically eat a LOT.

–       Boys tend to be bigger whingers than girls.

–       Boys are slower than girls when it comes to learning. The only way to counter balance this is READ to them ALL THE TIME. A love of reading and books creates an inquisitive mind and inquisitive minds like to learn stuff.

–       Boys are simple. Life is simple. They rarely get hung up about emotional crap.

–       Boys are lazy. They don’t believe in putting anything back in it’s place. Out of sight is out of mind.

–       Mum may not like superhero costumes but I am yet to meet a boy who doesn’t love them between the age of 2 and 3. They WILL leave the house in a costume. Just deal with it.

– Boys care not for clothes. Comfort always comes over style. This can often be a problem if you care what they look like.

– Boys won’t tell you when their clothes or undies are getting too small. They wait till their undies are cutting off their circulatory system before letting you know they may need bigger undies.

–       Boys need sport. Most importantly they need team sport. Even at a young age team sport teaches them how to play with others, be part of a team and respect for coaches and umpires. There is nothing better for a boy than sport.

–       They need to run. All the time. If you live in an apartment, move.

–       They grow a lot and often and they like to skid on their knees. You will be amazed how many knees go through pants.

– Boys love Xboxes and Playstation thingy’s. This will not turn them into psychos. Everything in moderation is fine and from time to time they may act out a car racing game or simulated fight sequence – this is NORMAL. If they start using their toys as weapons and threatening you with “I will kill you”  behaviour – then you need to look at the games they are playing (note for Dad’s CALL OF DUTY and GRAND THEFT AUTO are NEVER, EVER, EVER OK FOR A CHILD TO PLAY OR WATCH – EVER.)

Anyone else got any advice for my Mama mate who’s having her first boy? 

 

 

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