The Mum Network

Much Ado About Nothing……


As I looked around the bomb site that is my home tonight, I panicked thinking no work would get done tomorrow as I’d have to clean up for the cleaners all day. To my absolute and utter delight, I realised that it’s their off week. I gave in to their persistent and painful requests for more money by telling them they get their pay rise but they can only come fortnightly. I’m now $100 per fortnight better off so really – who is winning!!!!! This is also the first time The Big Guy is going to know about the pay rise…..eek (at least all the bathrooms are getting done each week now Big Guy).

As always, I try to disappear when they’re here unless I have to stay at home and work and last week they totally caught me trying to escape “Oh Lala, we no see you no more. WHY? You no like us?”

Um…No.

I ran off in the car trying to indicate that Miss 7, who was with me, needed to go to the Dr because she may have Denghy Fever. No doubt next week she’ll come back with some Korean paste to cure Denghy fever. Karma always takes care of my lies.

Anyhow, onto other matters of general non-importance but observations I have made over the past weekend:

1.Issued self with a challenge to get ALL the washing in the house done for at least a few hours. Instant fail, what was I thinking? Have at least 6 loads to do tomorrow. Is anyone else finding the washing with the cooler weather has tripled? Boys destroy so many clothes in a day that nothing can be worn twice. Give me girls in Princess Dress ups anyday.

2. Mr 3 learnt how to ride a two wheel bike without training wheels and mastered it in approximately 2.5 minutes. This is because he got a balance bike for Christmas which was the best gift we’ve ever given one of our kids (and we’ve given them a LOT of crap).  I HIGHLY recommend getting all toddlers a balance bike (the ones without pedals) and let them take it everywhere. It’s actually a much easier mode of transport than a pram and  they think they’re having fun when you’re simply avoiding the inevitable “Can I have a shoulder ride Dad?”

3. I now understand why other mothers give me strange looks when I tell them I allow Mr 9 and Mr 8 to play rugby. Both boys came off the field today with ruck marks and bruises from studs all over their legs. Some serious limping was happening and I immediately realised I’m a nutter for letting them play such a brutal sport. I can only live in hope that they’re learning to play properly now so they don’t break their necks in high school.

4. Despite receiving an email about parent behaviour on the sidelines or rugby this week, one mother very verbally and way too sarcastically for my liking openly cajoled the opposition by yelling ‘that tackle was a bit too head high on MY SON for MY liking” and then followed up by calling another kid a bad sport for not shaking the oppositions hand at the end of the game (He didn’t see the hand extended to him). Needless to say, massive bogan, massive chip on her shoulder who was having a go at one opposition Mum for being one of those “Land Cruiser, knee high boot wearing snobs from the North Shore”, I took extreme pleasure in telling her I owned a 4WD, four pair of knee high boots and I grew up on the North Shore – hopefully that shut her up but next week I’m going to tell her most of my relatives are Asian, just to really make sure she gets the message I’m not the right person to talk to when bashing ‘those other types who aren’t like her”.

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5. Miss 7 had a play date on Saturday. This was the most exciting thing to happen all year (hot tip: put away some of those one use only craft gifts they receive for their birthday when they aren’t looking and pull out of the secret cupboard for playdates – BINGO, instant entertainment). Girls really are delightful aren’t they. Much less worrying than the boys who were tearing down the street on bikes with no helmets till I went spastic enough for the neighbours to question my sanity. The girls stayed inside and made jewellery, made a stamp collection and then made a video on the computer documenting their experience. If Miss 7 ever fails at school, she’s going to be a fabulous weather presenter on Channel 9 News. Real Talent. Scary amount of on camera confidence that I fear may turn into an Instagram obsession for selfies which she is old enough to sign up.

6. I stalked the Kim Kardashian/Kanye West wedding on Instagram, Facebook, TMZ and eonline.  I continue to stalk the Kimye wedding and will not stop till WHO magazine release the pics next week (surely they won’t appear in Woman’s Day – Vogue maybe?). I feel very close to the Karashians because of course, I’m best friends with Khloe (yes that’s me below on the left in my post-pregnancy fatness and little sis (the skinny one) on the right. Hanging with Khloe, still a highlight of my life (insert sarcasm here), she’s so bloody skinny in real life it makes you wonder how tiny the others are when she’s labelled ‘the fat one’. She sent me some shoes afterwards, I’m totally her bestie. Best of luck to them I say, no one since Princess Di has sold so many magazines, clicks nor been so famous. Anyone who can become that rich and famous and still have most of the world not understand what they actually ‘do’, and doing nothing obvious to feed the poor or give a portion of their phenomenal wealth to charity and still have gazillions of adoring fans, has got to be commended for such vacuous behaviour. Regardless, I’m still stalking.

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That’s about it for today – bring on Monday! Enjoy your week folks!

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