I’ve not written about the Bernie’s Meme’s or reported on our match reports for a while because, well, the hilarity of the games was taken over by some serious netball. We stopped being entertaining blundering idiots and we actually worked out how to play. I suspect we’re all still shocked that a bunch of 30 and 40 somethings could compete with fresh faced teenagers (oh, ok Ms P is still in her 20’s but she’s a Mum and let’s face it, every team needs a secret weapon hot personal trainer to keep the dream alive). We lost in a fierce battle this evening by 2 goals and by fierce I mean, our girls were ready to walk off the court or punch their opponents. YUP FIERCE!
We’re now at the end of the season and dare I say it, we’re quite good for a bunch of old chicks with 19 kids between us. I went up to the counter tonight to pay the court fees and Mrs Desk Lady said “You’ve made it to the semi finals next week and if you win, you go straight through to the Grand Final”. None of us ever checked the ladder so we were incredibly surprised to learn we’re not just at the top of the ladder, we’re leading by a lot! To be fair, they tried to put us up a grade during the season. We begged them not to, we didn’t want to work too hard for the wins. Here’s how we ended up:
Upon telling Sporty Spice that we had made the semi’s tonight, she suggested we purposely lose. Huh? This is a woman whose children have more sports titles and trophies to their name than I have clothing, and that’s a LOT. I still can’t work out why she suggested this but I suspect she was winding me up because she knows I don’t like to lose.
As it turns out, we’re all fiercely competitive (ok. some more than most) but we’ve been been playing against fresh faced teenagers all season, we had something to prove! Amazingly, we’ve only lost four out of 15 games. Personally I’ve loved the faces of the teenagers when the first whistle goes off, I’m sure they think we’re going to be a pushover but with the fitness freaks Miss Alison, Ms P, Mrs K and Sport Spice in the middle of the court, they’re caught a little off guard that the wrinkles don’t match the fitness levels.
Occasionally we’ve let the kids come and watch and let’s just say they’re noisier and more supportive than a State of Origin crowd. There’s nothing quite like listening to the squeal of a few over excited 6 year olds to keep the nerves and energy levels up and the opposition wondering who on earth would bring children to a complex where serious grown up sport is played in the freezing cold at night. The Dad’s have also come to watch and by the look of The Big Guy’s jaw at his first game, I’m sure he wanted to come and watch every match after that. You see, our uniforms are 90% lycra and most of the team have killer 30 something figures, except me (which would explain his jaw dropping expression!)
Mrs O (our Mama Bear with 7 kids) left us early in the peace after realising that when you have 7 kids and spend your life taking them to various sporting activities, there’s very little time left for self. She’ll return one day when life is a little less hectic. Mrs W filled in for us on more than one occasion. She’s about 5 foot nothing and can jump higher than me on a trampoline, she only had a baby a year ago and she can shoot like a pro. A true gem and we would have been lost without her. Mrs McD is my fellow U7’s coach and also filled in when we needed her, she proved herself a worthy defender and a fierce attacker.
We have learnt a little along the way, well I have at least:
1. I can only play the position of Goal Shooter, running around too much isn’t my thing.
2. When playing, it’s important to have a LONG singlet underneath so that sneaky wobbly tummy fat doesn’t sneak out whilst trying to shoot as it puts me off my aim.
3. Don’t wear light coloured leggings.
4. None of the girls find pelvic floor jokes remotely funny.
5. Skinny chicks really do feel the cold more than the fat ones (its an indoor centre and even after a full game Mrs K is always still shaking from the cold).
6. Mrs S has a temper, don’t cross her.
7. Twenty Four minutes of netball for Sporty Spice and Ms P does not classify as ‘exercise’ for them, they rarely break a sweat.
8. If a team look like they could pick a fight with your husband in a pub on a Saturday night, they’re definitely going to try to kill you on the netball court.
9. Older women are more competitive than younger chicks.
10. Respect the umpires, they carry grudges.
11. Mrs H wasn’t kidding, she really does enjoy playing Goal Keeper (I’ve never known ANYONE to like GK)
12. Ms P would be fun to play frisbee with as she can literally fly through the air.
13. I’m far more competitive than I originally thought I was.
SO that’s it from the Bernie’s Memes until next week and the semi finals – with permission I may just be able to get a pic of the team for publication! Maybe!