The Mum Network


Screen Shot 2014-10-14 at 12.30.09 pmI was just reminded by a loyal reader that I’ve not blogged in a while. Indeed this is true, like most Mum’s, every spare moment I have at present is spent washing, tidying, cooking, playing taxi driver or kicking basketballs out of my kitchen.

Screen Shot 2014-10-14 at 12.27.24 pm

I’ve also recently made an appearance back into the professional world. Working in an office with real people where you have to talk to them isn’t good when you moonlight as a blogger because you want to write about almost everyone you meet. Career suicide that I decided against. That said, TMN is not forgotten and the break has given me some great ideas to write about……..

My sister, who is due to have baby number 3 any day now, was analyzing my personality and the various Motherhood super powers she wants to have when baby number 3 arrives.

What are Mum Superpowers? Well let’s just say, every mother has at least one superpower. It’s something they do phenomenally well. Other mother’s look at this unique superpower in their friends and family with admiration and a tiny touch of jealousy. You want to be like her, you wish you had the ability to be like her.

“The Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff /Patient Mum” – This Mum has screaming kids refusing to get into the car, no one is listening to her and she’s not losing the plot. Her kids are starting to get on your nerves and you are wondering how on earth she hasn’t completely lost her shit yet. She doesn’t sweat the small stuff and lets the small things just fly past her without a care in the world.

“The Running Mum” – She runs. For fun. Yes, for fun. This is her outlet. She it fit and healthy, generally a size 6 or 8 and she enjoys running. You see her on the main road, she is smiling, whilst running which means she is happy and her pelvic floor is in tact.

“The Cook from Scratch Mum” – You pop over for coffee and watch in awe as she mixes up some cookie dough for afternoon tea whilst simultaneously layering a home made lasagna and making a béchamel sauce from scratch. Meantime you’re in awe because you didn’t even realize lasagna could be made from scratch as you’ve only ever purchased it in the big packs from Woolies. She has things like self raising flour, sugar, butter and risotto in her pantry and packaged foods simply do not exist.

“The Working Mum” – She is Superhuman, she is out the door with kids fed, dressed, lunches made and uniforms ironed before you’ve hit the snooze button for the 5th time. She puts in a full day at her important job and then wrangles children at the other end of the day to sports, makes dinner, puts kids to bed and then just pops a few loads of washing on, pays some bills and survives on 4 hours sleep. Meantime you’re wondering if you can handle a job for one day a week.

“Loves her Kids too Much Mum” – Her kids never annoy her. You wonder if she is on drugs and when you realize she isn’t, you bow to her Superpower. She just loves her kids to the end of the earth and back. Sure she’ll admit they’re not perfect but she strangely doesn’t blame them or herself for their imperfections. She kind of likes their weird ways. She kneels down gently to the whinging toddler to understand their garbled English and rather than losing the plot, when her toddler wipes its nose on her nice clean jeans, she finds a tissue and applies some vicks on their chest vowing to make them better. They graze their knee and she feels their pain. She would never think of putting them to bed without a story. Put simply, she just always loves her kids and never thinks for a moment that she wouldn’t like them, even for a minute.

“Ignores the Mess Mum” – It doesn’t bother her. Everything can be tidied eventually but she has no hang ups about toys on the floor, mixed up Lego, Loombands everywhere,  melted Weet bix embedded on the chairs or piles of washing just waiting to be folded. She has more important things to do and tidying for the sake of tidying is something she’ll get around to, sometime.

“Positive Mum” – This Mum sees the best in even the biggest arsehole kids in the class, she makes you feel bad for thinking other people’s kids are turds and she wouldn’t think about saying an unkind word about anyone . She doesn’t participate in gossip, bitching or complaining. Just as the Lego song says, in her world, “Everything is Awesome”

“The Organic Mum” – She buys organic, she eats organic and she can afford organic. She’s like one of those people who own a boat. Organic is not just a choice for her, it’s a way of life. She can easily detect that the sweet treat you bought to her place was just purchased at the bakery known for its excessive use of MSG and she quietly slips her toddler a couple of organic carrot sticks she’s pre-prepared and gasps when your toddler turns their nose up at veges as a snack.

“The Fun Mum” – She is found laughing with her children all the time. She rides rollercoasters, goes bushwalking, rides motorbikes. She can be found with the music going full blast in the car and she knows every single word to Nikki Minaj’s “Anaconda” . She can twerk. She can still do a hand stand and is happy to pop on a swimming costume and play marco polo in the pool, let’s face it, we all want to be a little like her.

“The Me Time Mum” – This Mum has reached the point of realization that if she doesn’t put herself first, no one will be happy. She loves her kids and her family but time at the gym, team sports or a movie night with the girls are paramount to her happiness. She lives by the mantra, “happy wife, happy life” and it works. She isn’t a helicopter parent and therefore is happy to take a weekend off parenting duties to go away and soak up some well earned me time. For her, it’s mandatory.

“The Involved Mum” – This Mum is everywhere. She’s organized, she volunteers, she coaches, she bakes. Everyone knows her. She’s involved in every aspect of her kids lives and she loves it. She loves her kid’s friends and can always be seen with a car full of kids that aren’t her own. She’s at every sporting game, pre-school and school event and you often wonder how and where she has the time.

“The My House is Always Impeccably Clean and Uncluttered Mum” – You’ve tried on copious occasions to catch her out but it’s impossible. She lives in a clean and uncluttered worlds. TO make it worse, she has toddlers. You spend sleepless nights wondering how she does it, is there a secret housekeeper sleeping under the stairs? How do that many kids not create mess? You soon discover her secrets, she’s not a shopper so she doesn’t accumulate ‘stuff’ and she keeps her kids busy in the afternooon so they’re never home to create mess. You are in love with her.

“The Pretty Mum” – How is your hair always straight? Nuff said.

“The Well Dressed Mum” – Why aren’t you in lycra and why is your outfit clean and without food on it? Well dressed Mum also breeds well dressed children who wear white. This family we admire from afar because we know we couldn’t afford the Napisan bill.

“The I didn’t do a thing Mum” – This Mum has no idea how her 1 year old toilet trained himself or how her 3 year old can swim without floaties and read and write. She flicks her hair and looks as surprised as you when her child asks for a vegemite sandwich, in French. For her, parenting is a piece of cake.

So, in summary – which Mum Superpower would you like to have?

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